I know, as do so many gamblers, what it feels like to be so desperate and full of pain that I wanted to take my own life
A gambler I know committed suicide because of the money he owed to a casino. He was not a statistic I read about nor is this the story of a friend of a friend. This was “Tom” (not his real name). He was a person I sat beside, talked to, shared moments with, confided in, and cared about.
What was the amount of money he owed that cost him his life? It was $2,000. They phoned and harassed him every day…… even though he had paid back some of the money he owed them. He was trying to make restitution on a meager income. The threat of prison if they did not receive their money immediately was what terrified him. It terrified him so much that “Tom” chose death – a lonely jump from the Rainbow Bridge into the dark, frigid waters of the Niagara River below.
I know, as do so many gamblers, what it feels like to be so desperate and full of pain that I wanted to take my own life. There was a time when, once again, I had lost it ALL— our whole month’s income! We were already so in debt and so far behind on bills and mortgage that we could lose everything. I went home late at night to an empty house. My husband was working a night shift. I was feeling remorse, guilt, and depression. Worst of all, I was filled with the never-ending loop of fear. I’d done it again. I’d do it again. My thinking was that maybe my husband would be better off without me.
I took all my medications– anti-depressants, sleeping pills, the works. I got scared and called 911. I remember nothing after that until I woke up in the hospital. This is what I was told:
Our poor little dogs tried to protect me from the paramedics, so the Humane Society was called. Imagine the terror of their experience! My husband, after working a 12-hour shift, arrived home to an empty house. A note on the kitchen table was his only clue that something was wrong. The not said, “We have your dogs. Humane Society.” That’s how my husband found out about my suicide attempt and where he could find me!
Did this nightmarish experience stop me from gambling? It did not! Within a few days, I was back at the casino again! This insidious, hellish addiction, which caused me and my family so much pain and grief would continue for seven more years before I entered recovery.
I was blessed. I got a second chance. “Tom” did not!
Thefts of millions of dollars make splashy headlines. You see them often, but the average person does not relate. Suicides from gambling rarely make the news— never mind the headlines!
Where I live, an average of one person a week jumps into the Niagara River because of his or her gambling problems. As sad as it is, probably just as many people take their lives due to gambling-related causes in other ways. (I am told that a “popular” way to commit suicide in Atlantic City, NJ is to drive a car off a parking garage roof. I wonder about suicides in places like Las Vegas!)
It is sad to look at death statistics due to this illness, but it is done for other illnesses such as cancer, strokes, heart disease, and many others. I believe that one casino-related death is one too many! If fifty-two people jump to their death outside this casino due to their illness and another fifty-two take their lives in another way, that is one hundred four people per year related to just this one casino. (In ten years, that would be 1,040 people!) Multiply this figure by all the casinos in the country, and we have a problem of epidemic proportion! This is an illness that is perpetuated by greed, and among the greediest are legislators who think and act upon the belief that we can gamble our way out of economic woes. They are preying upon the weakest of their constituents and try to pass off gambling as “entertainment.”
The only one of my statistics above that I believe are research-backed is the number who jump into the Niagara River; but I believe my other figures are accurate and conservative. I do know that compulsive gambling is an illness that not only destroys lives (of family members, friends, employers, and others, as well as the gambler’s), it also takes many lives! I further believe that it is time for people to become concerned about this epidemic…….before a “Tom” in their lives is no longer!